So Stellar » Why bother to make it perfect?

single post Why bother to make it perfect?
July 2, 2005

Don’t you just hate it when you’re thinking of ways to make things “better” for a change? But you can’t come up with anything? Thats how I feel right this minute..

I feel useless, no matter how I try to make things better, it ends up badly or just not as good.

I feel I have lost my creativeness, as if I was ever a creative person. I can’t even draw well, damn it. But the creativeness that you have, “ideas” not like artsy idea kind of thing. Like for example, an idea for a new layout.. Something like that.

I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, but all that is running on my mind is fear of failing at school, fear of failing while the rest are happy or OK.

I think I have lost the happy side of me.

WHAT GOOD THING HAVE I EVER DONE FOR THE PAST X YEARS? Want an answer? I’m not too sure, but my mind says – NONE.

I’m sorry if I made your day sad with all that negativity after reading those..

I don’t even think I can manage this site for a long time, unless I think of something positive and something happy, right? School shall come first before this one, definitely, like what I have said up there, I am afraid of failing this year. I want to be in the honor roll again. Though it’s TOO early to talk about it so I’ll stop at that.

BTW, school was okay this past week, nothing fancy or “big” happened.. There’s a Evaluation exam waiting for us on Monday, so gotta study for that. (3rd year highschool is HARRRDDD) Plus side though, I have a “business” at school, — CD burning. See, I can still manage a smiling face despite of this so-called sadness, lol.

PLUGS: Kxia, Desiree, Aura, Lai, Patrick, Shari, Stephen, Brittany, Lara, Unpretty, Angel, Stella, Crispulo, Lyndsey, Pola.

Returning them again, when I have teh free time. Oh and, can someone help me? About WordPress? How do I make the other entries stay in this table? Cause (yes this only shows 2 entries, I changed it thats why.) the 3rd entry always goes on the back of the header image… its so frustrating to figure out. Gah.

Filed under: Boredom, Domain Talk, Highschool, Life, School

20 comments

Eica Says:
July 3rd, 2005 at 3:52 pm
Awww cheer up

I feel like that too — more often than not lalo na ung pag-fail. Ang dami kasi ng sobrang high expectations eh – of course you cant help but feel pressured.
Keng Says:
July 4th, 2005 at 10:39 pm
Awww. *hugs*

I don’t really know what’s going on in your life to make you feel like this, but I hope things get better. Especially with the whole feeling useless thing because you’re not useless.

Your fear of failing is understandable, though, as we’ve all felt that at some point in our academic life, but hey, relax about it. You’re right to think that your studies should always come first before this site, so don’t feel obligated that you have to always keep us in the light about what’s happening with you if you really need to study. I mean, we’ve all done that, so yeah.

Oh, and stop promoting piracy! (hehe) It’s just that it’s not exactly the right type of business for you to even be dealing with or be proud of. You profit from the cd-burning, but the artists themselves don’t (remember the piracy/mp3 issues at sony?), so I think it’s best that you just go tell your friends or schoolmates or whatever to support the artists they love by buying their CDs. If they can’t afford it, buy a tape or whatever. ^^
Angel Says:
July 4th, 2005 at 11:15 pm
aww. we all feel that way sometimes. like we don’t actually serve any higher purpose to anyone but we all do even if you don’t realize it i bet that someone’s life is definately different because of you. no doubt about that, otherwise, you’d be a nothing :p
Sanne Says:
July 5th, 2005 at 3:52 am
I’m sorry you feel so sad. I’m sure you have not lost your creativeness, it will come back. Guess sometimes it’s just having a good sleep, at least mine has =P
Good luck at school and with your test! I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with the wordpress thing. I don’t even know how to implent it in my layout :s
kish Says:
July 5th, 2005 at 2:39 pm
everyone has a downside time in their life and it can be the fuel to make things better. that’s a challenge, you’re still young and will still have so many experiences and trials that will be encountered. that’s what makes us human. that ‘s what makes us alive.
Lara Says:
July 5th, 2005 at 2:50 pm
Aww don’t think that badly. You’re probably just on a layout block or something, your creativity will come back. As for “running a pathetic life”, just think of all the good things that have happened to you, whether recently or not. I hope everything works out and you feel better. Take care.
Julie Says:
July 6th, 2005 at 5:34 am
You can’t make anyone’s day bad, only they can do that temselves, so don’t apologize. As for you thinking you run a pathetic life…well, only you can change that and best of luck to you.
Terri Says:
July 7th, 2005 at 4:30 am
Hi, I’m here via eXPOSE!

I know exactly how you feel, and I do hope things will get better! I don’t know how much it will mean, but I think this layout is very creative! Perhaps you are just in a “slump” right now and things will get better. I can imagine the test coming up and the new school year don’t help, either, so perhaps when that stress is over, things will start looking up!
maxine Says:
July 7th, 2005 at 11:25 am
In response to your points…

1. Think about how many people would be affected if you didn’t exist or if you suddenly died. Think about how many people need and depend on you. Still feel useless?

2. It’s called a layout block. ;D

3. If you put your mind at something and try your hardest, even if you do fail, no one’s gonna look down on you for it. Just focus on succeeding and failure will fall off the map.

4+5. GO HAVE FUN. It’s summer, go to the beach and hang out with your friends or family, or just alone! If you’re mad at yourself, stop stressing! It’s bad for your skin…go punch your pillow for an hour or something. Don’t dwell on what you haven’t done, focus on what you can do and do it!

Good luck.
Jade Says:
July 9th, 2005 at 4:47 am
I think it’s amazing. Amazing how school is always making us think. How school is always on our mind. No matter how hard we (at least I) try, it’s there. And you can do your best to try and not care. But in the end. It does. And it always slaps you in the face. And it’s damn hard.

It seems like you’re trying too hard, way too hard, to have a sad life. You’re just putting yourself down. Just because you don’t have the eyes to see the creativity you behold does not mean that it doesn’t exist. We are our worst critics ever; ever heard of that saying? It is so true. We just expect our selves to do the greatest, human nature tells us to compete. We are never, ever, satisfied. If we say we are, majority of the time it’s a lie.

Don’t just stick to that box of sadness. It’s summer, school is far beyond these few hours. Enjoy yourself, you know? About the layout thing, you not having any “creativity” to make it is so natural. Everyone runs out of it. Chill out. Give yourself a break. Breathe. Run. Enjoy the time off. Be a teen.

You’ll feel happy again. You will, definetly. You’re just pushing yourself way too hard. And I can easily say that I understand. It’s that self pressure that some of us put on our backs more than others. But as you grow, you learn other lessons as well as how to control that pressure from building.

eXPOSURE
Kxia Says:
July 9th, 2005 at 4:26 pm
Yeah, there was a period of time that I felt like that, third year din ako dun. Cheer up. It’ll pass. Take care!
lai Says:
July 10th, 2005 at 7:52 pm
hey you! thanx for the welcome back! and i dooo hope maging ok ka na! its sos sad thinking negative thingies :*

oooh and heh, dont stress too much in school, i know you’ll still make the honor roll

wuheeee cheer up ok?
Laura Says:
July 11th, 2005 at 3:10 pm
Don’t worry about it all. Sometimes you just go through stages of feeling a bit low and everything bad and wrong seems to happen at once – I know I do. It will all get better and everything will work itself out.
Shari Says:
July 11th, 2005 at 4:55 pm
Creativeness huh? Baka creativity.. But I believe there is such thing as creativeness.:) Hehe. Pero dude, ako nga wala eh!

OMG. I have the fear of failing too. It’s not actually a fear yet but you know, I hate the feeling of having gotten a low score while someone who doesn’t study, say the class clown or something, got a higher grade than you. Nakakaasar yon. Let’s just do our best Anna
Roxanne Says:
July 14th, 2005 at 6:25 pm
I think the layout is nice. But cheer up. It’s not the end of the world…I hope. Haha. Just joking. I’m on a major creativity block right now and it’s no fun. So maybe you didn’t lose your creativity, you just have a block.
aldo Says:
July 15th, 2005 at 3:02 am
I feel like that a lot, but it always does get better. hopefully it does for you too, just keep your head up darling.
mucho luck on your evaluations.
p.s. hey you’re filipino. 10000 cool points to you chica.
Janelle Says:
July 15th, 2005 at 4:56 am
Aw. Everyone has those times where they feel sad & low. Sometimes I have days where I just hate everything & I’m sick of everything. Writing & playing guitar makes me feel better.

And I have a sort of fear of failing like that, too. Sometimes I think I have fears of everything.
Stella Says:
July 15th, 2005 at 9:43 am
cheer up hun! I’ve been feeling so miserable since we moved to canada and i know there’s always a purpose for these kinds of things. eventually we’ll be able to pick ourselves up and move on. and the cd burning should help a bit, LOL. how much do you earn from that eh? haha.
imoan Says:
July 16th, 2005 at 4:09 am
cd burning eh? damn, i think i’m the only one who actually buys the cds that are worth buying. hah, it’s all about the quality. anyway, high school isn’t that bad. it’s just the AP’s and the Honors classes that hold you back. nice site. i love jolie. [=
Alyssa Says:
July 21st, 2005 at 10:27 am
Cheer up my friend! Believe me, everyone has low moments. Chances are in a few days something will happen and you’ll feel totally different about everything. CD burning? NICE haha, very sweet idea. SEE, creative! Idea! Right there!